As They Both Fight Over and For Me...

I'm really starting to lose sleep over it.

I love being with the one I'm with now. We have rough and difficult times together, but you know how it usually goes right? You stay because albeit the pains, the hardships, the stress, the pointless going in circles...you know in your heart you're happy. You're really sickeningly-sappy-you-can-kiss-my-buli-while-you're-at-it happy. The more I try to stray myself away, the longer I stay. Plus I'm comfortable with where I am now. And I get the respect I deserve. Although a little upgrade will make things even more...exciting and fulfilling.

But I'm buang-mad happy. Until the other one comes along.

The other one, on the other hand, lures me into discovering the unknown. It's attracting me with things that I don't have with the current one. Somehow, it's making me think that it's something I should not deny myself with. Especially if it's something I don't expect will happen. I feel special, I feel like a princess. I could have the things I want...and may not want. Imagining myself with the other one makes me feel satisfied and well appreciated and wonderful and great. There's nothing much to it if I just run away with this new one toward bliss and forget my endeavours with the old one.

But that's the tough part.

If i don't leave my current one, will I be missing out on something better?

If I get to be with the new one, will I have the assurance that I will be happier?

My current one just discovered what goes through my mind. But despite that, I've never heard a single bitter word. I'm worth it, so my current one will fight for me...until I say, "No, it won't work."

The other one knows what I'm going through. I was told that if I will still choose the other one, that'll be fine...but it'll be better if get to be with the new one. No pressure, I just have to either say yes or no....as soon as possible.

I need to decide tonight. It's really tearing me apart.

Sigh. I wish I were talking about two men fighting over me.

Should I stay with my current employer or should I just pack my pedestal cabinet and leave?

Pastilang choices.